Now for something different.
This blog entry has been inspired totally by one of the accounts I follow on Twitter. Robert For All (@RobertFiFoot) is an Aberdonian exile living in the Netherlands and runs a highly successful and often unintentionally thought-provoking blog called BrawBags. You can see the blog by clicking the link below.
I think this will be a controversial blog entry so if I say anything controversial, it’s all Robert’s fault. He put me up to it. The opinions are all my own. And I am sure I will ruffle up some feathers, so buckle up buttercups, as one or two of my following reviews will provoke similar reaction.
Today I want to speak a little about new stuff. There’s tons of new stuff. New stuff is everywhere. Most of us like new stuff, apart from me, as I am pretty comfortable with old stuff, which was new when I bought it, but I love it more and don’t want to part with it. Especially my rock concert tour t-shirts. One can’t beat wearing an original New Model Army T-shirt from 1990’s Impurity tour. Only I can’t, as when I was newer (or less old), I was a good few chest sizes smaller, so even if I could get into that T-shirt, it would look spray-on and show my moobs in a way that would make everybody feel slightly awkward and uncomfortable. Especially you, as I’m old enough I don’t have to give a flying duck anymore.
But moving on from comfortable T-shirts and dressing inappropriately for one’s body size and age, there are still tons of new things bombarding us daily. There are new ways of having currency like Crypto-currencies. Bet that will make your wee nephew happy on Christmas morning when he opens his gift of some digital currency that is pegged to nothing and will be worth a tenth of what is was by the end of the day. Of course we can buy art in new ways, even whisky by purchasing NFT’s. NFT’s aren’t entirely new but are taking off in all sorts of ways. Some people think they are brilliant, some aren’t so sure and others think they are crap, and nobody really seems to know what they are. Having a certificate to say you own something that you can’t physically hold seems kind of pointless. It’s a bit like having a marriage certificate and everybody can get a chance to shag your wife for a price. No sirree! Not for me are these NFT’s, I’ll stick to physical products and keep my wife un-propositioned thank you very much.
But do you know what is better than new stuff? Old stuff. Stuff that has been around for ages and we know we like it. It makes us feel warm and fluffy, unless you are German as they don’t apparently have a word for fluffy. Well, that is old tosh, as it is “Flaumig”. So old stereotypes aren’t good. I have lots of old stuff, all of it makes my heart go fluffy. Favourite clothes, my favourite screwdrivers, my preferred side cutters for trimming cable ties at work. Even my old stuffed toy from childhood (it’s a bunny called Bobby) and life would not be worth living without my ancient toasted sandwich maker. All important old things.
Even the oldest guy I regularly work with can be a bit of a curmudgeon, though people like working with him as he can be quite entertaining when he gets wound up. Old is good. But we mentioned whisky and seeing as this is a whisky blog, I guess this better turn to whisky at some point. I’ve loads of old whisky too. Not that old whisky is better than new whisky, but some whisky is betterer (sic) than others. But over the past 5 years more and more people have been going mental over three year old whisky and that isn’t just a bad thing in itself, but it’s the prices some will pay for it just to drink it or store it away in their cupboards. That is mental. Especially when there is a good chance the distillery may release much better older new stuff in the future and the new young stuff they are punting out is just to ensure they have capital to make the older new stuff. Plus, it’s an example of how wrong people can be craving new stuff with the first releases seeming to magically go up in value just because they are new; given their young age, you couldn’t get much newer. Spot the buyers remorse over somebody buying a brand new bottle that is worth £45 for £100 at the first auction, only to be disappointed when the price drops back to less than RRP. Flooding the market with new stuff was a smart move from those clever blighters at Lindores. It’s smart as I got mine under RRP at auction and Lindores got the full price on the initial sale. So me and Drew at Lindores are delighted as are the auctioneer. The person selling not so happy.
Of course there are the people who sell their new stuff at wildly exorbitant prices for liquid at three years old. Over 200 quids for an whisky only 4 years old is taking the mickey somewhat. I don’t care how unique your whisky is. It’s totally pie in the sky pricing. It might as well be unicorn pish, and even then, I doubt I would be getting value for money. Having said that, I’ve bought a 4 year old Starward for 3 figures, but that was a tasty dram, and I want more of that new stuff now. Even blogs aren’t immune. There used to be a great whisky blog but some Americans took over and now it’s not so good. I don’t know how it’s readership Cope(s). I’m not wrong as many like me prefer the older original version and not the new and ‘improved’ version. Goes to show they aren’t the only one who can make sly digs on their website in their laughinly ‘independent’ way. I don’t depend on samples from others or Patreon, so how do you like those apples?
Yes, stuff may be new and experimental, but is it going to be as good as old stuff? So far the verdict is certain in my less than humble opinion. Give me lots of old stuff. Aged Macallan before Edrington screwed with the winning formula, and the same goes for Highland Park. Give me old Talisker before Diageo decided to up the prices and make it a brand I won’t drink anymore. New and improved is rarely the case, especially if the result is not as comfy as an old pair of Doctor Marten 8 hole boots. Plus my Old Versus New research last year proved beyond all doubt that I am right. So yah boo sucks to the doubters. Time for a few more of those new-tangled emoji; I like them. 😉😉🤣🤣🤯
Even my favourite bakery products, the humble rowie isn’t as good any more as vegetarians have spoilt that too. Gone are the recipes that include lard, replaced by vegetable oil and Palm oil. Well that’s no good as it makes them environmentally unsustainable now. Trust vegans and vegetarians to spoil everything. At least we use all the animal that makes lard. Do you use all the palm tree?? Plus, if I want a good old-fashioned heart attack, a rowie made with lard is the most comfortable and environmentally friendly way to do it. And it’s the tastiest way of guaranteeing Scotland’s place on the bottom of Health League tables.
Lastly we have to look to our elders, those who say the olden days were better. As we weren’t alive to say otherwise, how are we know if being ravaged by an illness that is easily controlled by vaccine, being bombed by foreigners with dodgy accents (no blacks or dogs either), three day weeks, power cuts, winters of discontent, strikes, hyper inflation with double digit interest rates and rubbish rotting in the streets isn’t better than it is now? Must have been pure dead brilliant as the doddery and infirm keep voting in the Tories who appear to be content to let these things happen again. Even our fish are happier fish because of it.
I guess I can’t keep ranting. I’ve said a few controversial things and maybe it’s better that I stop. I usually end with a conclusion and I think I’ll nail my flag to the mast with “New = bad; old = good.”
Back to normal service next time…